Who is a Yummy-Mummy?
Any mummy or mummy-to-be ! That’s the original definition. I mean it’s hard enough to “be preggers” and then “pop” (oh please! It doesn’t matter if the baby came out through a natural birth or c-sec. Stop reading if you judge) Then comes “nursing the little life” (or not- it’s really a woman’s own choice and there is NO right or wrong), the zillion hormonal changes while dealing with “weight or no weight” (not just yourself but also your baby). Get this straight- It’s HARD to be a mum and hence every single one is a yum-one!
To be honest, most people have contrived notions about what yummy mummies really are. According to some (uninformed) articles, imagery and general opinions, the ‘yummy mummy’ look is ‘oh so fabulous’- unachievable or only achievable by a certain section of moms who have the privilege to work their way into a workout right out of the labour room! (Or in Kate Middleton’s case, a blow dry and stilettos). I have often had these arguments with people who label only particular sort of mums as yum mums. And what is the criteria you ask? Well let me shock you. Apparently a yummy mummy HAS to be :
- Glammed up 24×7 (yes, while running errands and feeding her children too).
- Travels at least 4 times a year (to Europe, of course).
- Social Butterfly
- Has a career
- House-Proud to the T
- Best Instagram Handles (hot selfies with her perfect looking child all the time)
- Works out at least 5 days a week
- Expensive-looking wardrobe
- She never gained weight (not when she was preggers, nor when she delivered, nor later, NEVER!)
Phew! (I have cut this short, FYI).
Now that I’m done with my rant, let’s move on to various kinds of Yummy-Mummies. They or rather, WE, come in all shapes and sizes and from all kinds of backgrounds. My current fav tv binge, ‘Big Little Lies’ inspired me to broadly categorise all yummy mummies into a few different types and sorts. No, before you jump down my throat, I am NOT someone who labels people and puts them into boxes, relax. If you haven’t watched BLL yet- PLEASE DO. I love these characters for their own peculiarities and I’m sure you’ll find yourself relating to at least one. Minus the murder, deciet and general betrayal ofcourse!
YUMMY MUMMY TYPE 1: BAD-ASS BONANZA: Reese Witherspoon as Madeline Martha Mackenzie
My personal favourite, this hot mama is a total bad-ass. She doesn’t follow the rules and the only person she ever listens to is well..herself. That’s the kind of self-belief she has and she ain’t takin’ or givin’ a s*** about anything or anyone but herself and her child. She loves the life she lives because she gets to live it on her terms. No questions asked, no answers given. Well, she is blessed ‘cos no matter what present shape (in terms of her size) she is in, she likes it and that’s all that matters.
YUMMY MUMMY TYPE 2: BOSSY & BOLD: Laura Dern as Renata Klein
This one is a tough cookie. She is this multi-talented, multi-faceted, mutlti-whatever the F you want to call it. She does it all – working a 9 to 5 job, spending time with her kid, managing her house and husband, partying with her friends,Netflix, downtime, hitting the gym, yada yada. Now with only 24 hours in a day and such a huge to-do list she is BOLD and sometimes unsure if she is getting it all right. Listen up lady, you’re doing a fine job and you look super hot doing it, super-woman!
YUMMY MUMMY TYPE 3: THE COOL CAT: Nicole Kidman as Celeste Wright
This one’s a total chiller solely because of her personality- like a duck, paddling hard underneath but cool, calm and collected on the surface (I’m definitely not this). She loves her work and she loves socialising (her work thrives on networking). She hits the gym not because she has to but because she enjoys it. She is everything we see in movies and her life is probably closest to the movie life because there is always some drama that is running in the background. However “the cool cat” doesn’t let it take over.
YUMMY MUMMY TYPE 4: ZEN & ZEALOUS: Zoe Kravitz as Bonnie Carlson
I find it hard to believe that one can be zen and zealous at the same time. But I have seen some… and more! She likes her own company the most yet manages to work the crowd, no matter where she is. Yoga and wearing a toga, channeling happy hippy vibes while running her mom & pop kind of store, eating green, clean and lean.
YUMMY MUMMY TYPE 5: SNOOZE FEST: Shailene Woodley as Jane Chapmman
No, not judging but there are some mums out there who I admittedly do find a bit of a snooze fest. Not because of anything major but simply because they like to dwell. Dwell in problems, dwell in their kids, dwell in other people’s business. Just, dwell! So much more to explore outside guys. Get out there and conquer!
YUMMY MUMMY TYPE 6: THE DEVIL WEARS FACADA (READ:FACADE): Meryl Streep as Mary Louise Wright
She kills with her looks as well as her hooks! Gives out those underhanded jabs while sweet-talking the crap out of you. Disguised as anything, I reckon- you run as soon as you spot one! Oh and if you are one, do something constructive… whatever it maybe!
So to sum up, every mummy is yummy! However, it’s not good enough if it’s just yummy to look at.. Be a mum, be a friend, be anything- but a good one! Which one do you relate most with? Do write in and let me know.
Until next time!